By Steve Maxwell
This Dad's Corner is to answer the dad's side of a question posed to us in an e-mail with a request for a Mom's Corner topic. Since the e-mail was written by a mom with concerns about her children's behavior, Teri is responding in this month's Mom's Corner. However, the solution involves more than just Mom, so I wanted to address the father's role in this process. In summary, the mom was writing and asking what to do about sibling rivalry and contention.
The beginning place is for Dad to be informed of the needs of the home. Is a husband's line of communication clearly open with his wife? Does she talk to him about the problems she is seeing with the children? I've yet to meet a mom who wasn't willing to share the difficulties she encountered with the children during the day when her husband is a willing listener, and that is the way it should be. We can't effectively disciple our families if we don't know what the issues are.
Sometimes we dads can make our wives feel that they are a burden when they discuss the contentions of the day with us. This might be done directly by our words, or it may be more subtly through a facial expression, lack of interest, or even tuning her out. Then a dad may feel things are under control during the day with the children because Mom isn't bringing him problems, when in fact, there are issues, but Mom has learned that Dad isn't interested. It would be a good thing to ask your wife if she feels that you desire to know about the problems of her day.
When we come home are we careful to take our working hat off and put on our fathering hat? I know there have been times when Teri has told me about the children's behavior, and I responded that I wasn't aware of it. Then to my surprise, she explains a couple of recent times where they did it while I was standing right near them, but I wasn't tuned into what was happening.
Do we own the job of discipling the children whom God has given us?
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Encouraging Family Reformation
The biblical institutions of church and family in America are in need of reformation. Some say that we are in the period of greatest apostasy in 500 years. Less than one-half of one percent of adults ages 18 to 23 years have a biblical worldview. Only one-third of Christian parents say their religious faith is one of the most important influences on their parenting and only 27% of Protestant parents are very familiar with what the Bible has to say about parenting. It is clear that many Christian parents are no longer discipling their children in the faith. The result---SBC’s Council on Family Life reported that roughly 88 percent of evangelical children are leaving the church shortly after they graduate from high school. The problem is not only with the church and its program-oriented, marketing-driven growth philosophy, but also with parents, who have abdicated their role and responsibility in teaching, discipling, and nurturing their children in multigenerational faithfulness. The result is that the secular post-Christian culture has claimed the children and youth of America. When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3). We are encouraged by the fact that God is sovereign, Jesus Christ is Lord and His kingdom is forever. As we believe God's covenantal promise, our opportunity is great in working toward reformation of the family, the church, and the nations.
This blog links to a wide variety of writings on biblical issues regarding the family, biblical roles and relationships in the family, the church, education, and biblical worldview including ethics, apologetics, history, politics, and culture. The blog was created to encourage biblical family reformation through development of a clear family vision of multigenerational faithfulness. Our duties as parents include sharing the gospel with our children, discipling them in the faith (Deut 6:7), raising them in the fear, nuture, and admonition of the Lord (Prov 9:10; Eph 6:4), cultivating in them a biblical worldview (2 Cor 10:5), and providing them with the necessary tools to recognize and engage an increasingly humanistic, post-Christian culture while glorifying God.
This blog links to a wide variety of writings on biblical issues regarding the family, biblical roles and relationships in the family, the church, education, and biblical worldview including ethics, apologetics, history, politics, and culture. The blog was created to encourage biblical family reformation through development of a clear family vision of multigenerational faithfulness. Our duties as parents include sharing the gospel with our children, discipling them in the faith (Deut 6:7), raising them in the fear, nuture, and admonition of the Lord (Prov 9:10; Eph 6:4), cultivating in them a biblical worldview (2 Cor 10:5), and providing them with the necessary tools to recognize and engage an increasingly humanistic, post-Christian culture while glorifying God.
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